I hate brand bashers

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I hate brand bashers.

Anyone who spent some time on technical internet forums or review websites met them.

Many people buy the proverbial lemon: a machine or piece of hardware that is faulty from the factory. Many people have a bad experience with support. Hell, anyone who regularly buys electronics (and that’s nearly everybody these days) went through this at least once. But brand bashers are special. They cannot get over the single bad experience that they had. They start shouting in everybody’s faces that “hardware X sucks”, and “brand Y sucks”, and “noone should ever buy from them”. They start on some kind of personal crusade against hardware X or company Y, without trying to keep the least bit of common sense or the vaguest perspective on the problem. It doesn’t matter that the machine they got is one of the best in its category. It doesn’t matter that a large majority of the users is highly recommending it. They are the most important sample, and if their unit was bad, then all units have to be bad, the company has to pay, and everybody recommending it must be a company-ass-kissing, dumb, shortsighted asshole inconsiderate of the phenomenal ordeal that the brand basher went through. Unfortunately, it’s not the company that pays… it’s us, the readers on the forums or the review comments, that pay for it, by having to stand for these imbeciles’ biased and single-minded ramblings.

Brand bashers imagine that a good company builds the products with the user foremost in their minds. That support should be considerate with clients, think carefully about their problems. Well, I can’t argue with that ideal. But the truth is, it ain’t so. All the company cares about is the bottom line. Getting money from us, the customers. Especially consumer electronics companies don’t give a shit about a single customer, because of the enormous volume of sales that they have. Support and warranty are incentives, only added so that we pay money to the company, not because they care about us, the “valued customer”. Support persons are poorly paid, frustrated people, whose only goal is to get rid of these (from their perspective) stupid, pesky, annoying customers and get through another day, so they can go back home and watch TV, read technical forums of their own, or do whatever it is they do. Anyone who doesn’t realize these things doesn’t deserve to survive in a consumerist economy such as our own.

But the brand basher doesn’t know this, or chooses to ignore it. Another thing the brand basher doesn’t understand is statistics. That a certain, small percentage of the units sold will always be bad. That when such sheer amounts of product volume are sold, that percentage translates into a large number of machines that are bad. The lemons. That reducing the percentage of bad units that pass quality control is a difficult tradeoff that requires costly investment from the company, and that beyond a certain threshold that investment no longer makes sense: it shrinks the bottom line, the profit.

Brand bashers are at their best when they are in a group. Oh, then you see them in all their glory. There is a certain sugary-sweaty, sickening aroma of group fellatio emanating from their inter-reinforcing discussions. “Oh man, the unit broke the second day after I received it” “Yeah, mine too” (Mmmm, harder…) “And support treated me like crap” (Yeah, there, just like that, MMmhhh!) “Noone should buy from these guys, ever!” “No indeed!!!” (Oh, yeah, YEAH! (get the towel, honey)) Don’t even try to insert a remark to pull their feet back on the Earth. It’s pointless.

Well, yeah, that’s it. Brand bashers, get a grip!


Written by tma2

9 August 2008 at 8:57 pm

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